Thursday, May 24

Being true to what you believe in

With very little time to spare doing things which are not work or study related, I choose to use that "free" time to watch a very interesting talk on Rethinking Islamic Reform. The talk was originally held on May 2010, at Oxford University. It featured prominent islamic speakers like Sheikh Hamza Yusuf Hanson and Dr Tariq Ramadhan. It's just recently that I got to watch the video. And MasyaAllah, I was blown away by it. 


Some of the issues that they have addressed are; 
1. what is islamic reform?
2. why have islamic reform projects thus far been met with distrust, intrepetation from the muslim grassroots?
3. what are the interaction between islam and the political-social religion (how the reform is being influenced)?
4. what roles (if any) should the goverment play in the islamic reform?


The talk was very intense in a sense that it covered a lot of ground, especially the one by Sheik Hamza Yusuf. And, I just only discovered that I really like the way he presented the issue. 


I don't mean to do a critical analysis of the talk here, I would recommend you to watch the talk and try to do your own thinking on what you think is islamic reform. 


What I want to share here is, during the QnA session, there a muslim women who ask on what she (they) should do in bringing up their kids, teens to know islam in the world filled with temptations and hardship that constanty dragging people away from Islam.


The question was answered by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf. He gives an account of his experience. He told the audience when travelling to Kuwait, he sat next to a Kuwaiti TV presenter on the plane. Then, the stewardess came and serve their meal. She had Ayeesha on her nametag. She is a Senegalese. The Kuwaiti TV presenter ask if she can perform salah on the plane. She said, 'Yes'. Then he asked her if he could ask her a question. She said, ok. Then he ask her, 'What do you feel on serving wine to the customer'?


She answered, 'It was hard, but I will always use my left hand'.


Sheikh Hamza was so moved by her answer. In a very difficult situation, she tried what she can to be true to what she believed in. Because in Islam, we usually do bad things using our left hand.


With the sharing of the experience, he has answered the muslim women question. It is hard, livng in this world today, let alone trying to bring up a true muslim kid. But, how hard it is, we have to find ways to do it. 


So, from the talk, i've benefited A LOT, it made me think, it made me question. It gives me courage to always be true to what I believe in.


Go watch the talk! Go!

Monday, May 21

It's A Hijab, not A Halo.

Thought I'd share an article I read when blog-hopping to Humayra's blog. It was written by sister Azlina Ahmed in igotitcovered. Very enlightening indeed. Enjoy the read!
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I’m still a newbie at this; at a stage where the wardrobe malfunctions have been reduced, but not quite at the stage where I’m used to the slight loss of peripheral vision when I drive. I have yet to figure out a graceful way to wear my sunglasses or use my iPod without messing up the whole symmetry of my scarf. I still don’t know how to sleep comfortably on long haul flights without the worry of my whole scarf coming undone. But these are minor issues, which I’m sure time will solve.
However, I’m still not used to being deemed as an authority on Islam just because of what I wear. During a round table discussion on Islamic financing, attended by experts in the field, I suddenly found thirteen pairs of eyes looking my way whenever a point of Islamic fiqh had to be confirmed or validated. This attention was most likely due to my hijab rather than my credentials.
On a personal level, people frequently ask me questions about Islam –people who had always known I was Muslim, but had never quite appreciated the fact until my outward look was revamped. I walk down corridors, and instead of getting the normal greetings, some people literally stand to attention and give me Salam. This new look has provoked surprising reactions.
So, like it or not, the final and defining characteristic of a pious Muslimah appears to be  her clothing. It is drilled into our psyches as one of the most crucial elements of a Muslimah’s faith and identity.
But what about the bigger picture?
I have been told that the piousness of a Muslimah is evident in her face. Her expression is calm and tranquil; she carries herself with a serenity that is unperturbed by external circumstances. Her conduct is patient and unhurried; her tongue does not react in anger and spite, but rather remains moist with the remembrance of Allah. There are no frowns of anguish on her face, because her heart is at peace and she is contented with Allah’s bounties upon her.
That peacefulness, in turn, is borne out of her surrender to the will of Allah, and her desire to please Him.
It has been said that her actions towards others are kind and considerate. She keeps herself clean, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She does not commit injustice nor oppression upon herself or those around her. She guards her modesty, carries herself with humbleness and humility, and is generous and honest in her dealings. She does not gossip, speak ill, or pry.  She is swift to sacrifice her money, time, energy, and even emotions for the sake of Allah. She is aware of her multiple duties in life, as a daughter, a wife, a mother, an educator and the nucleus of the Ummah from which the new generation of Muslims is propagated.
When Allah gives her light, she radiates that light and illuminates those around her. From that springs the true and rare beauty of a Muslim woman.
And I question myself, because I know that I don’t even own a fraction of these qualities. They do not manifest just from donning the hijab. Such attributes, with the mercy of Allah, can only be obtained by individual spiritual journeys, through learning, understanding and implementing the Deen. The hijab is only a brush stroke on the canvas within a much bigger picture. Without it the work is incomplete, but it is not the sole element that makes the painting. And my own canvas is incomplete and riddled with mistakes.
By wearing the hijab, voluntarily or otherwise, we have presented ourselves as the role models of Islam. Hence whenever a hijabi does something wrong, the effect and repercussions are amplified in the eyes of the observers. Perhaps this is the reason that non-Muslims and non-hijabis are puzzled and often discouraged by the apparent disconnect between the adornment of the scarf and the beauty of Islam.
Hence, people are understandably bewildered when they see hijabi women backbite, quarrel, complain and unable to keep their rudeness or tempers in check. People question why some hijabis are fully compliant in their physical appearance, yet negligent with their Salah. People get a bad impression when they see some hijabis behave hysterically at concerts and football matches, flirt openly and behave lewdly. People wonder why selfish, stingy, arrogant and even abusive behaviour can be seen permeating through the physical barriers of veil. And ultimately, the sum total of all these incidents has led many to conclude that Islam starts and stops at the hijab.
So, let me make a general appeal. The hijab is not a halo. It does not render the wearer superhuman qualities. Underneath the garments is a normal human being with her own flaws and imperfections. And like everyone else, she is also susceptible to mistakes.
The scarf protects against a particular sin but it does not by itself eradicate negative habits and manners. Self-development remains an individual struggle which all of us, hijabis or not, should strive to overcome on a daily basis.
Thus I have come to realize that the scarf is neither the beginning nor the conclusion, it is merely one of the steps in our journey towards Allah.
The inner struggle continues:
  • to be constantly thankful and submissive to Allah for all His bounties upon us and what He has chosen for us.
  • To remember Allah in the good times and the bad.
  • To find peace and spread that peace within society.
  • And ultimately, to instill true shyness within ourselves –not just in the eyes of men, but also front of Allah for our conduct.
Let me be the first to admit it – I am so far from the ideal. I stumble, I freak out and I lose it sometimes. And it worries me whenever I deal with others because how I behave is no longer a reflection of myself as an individual, but rather a reflection of the Ummah as a collective. It was not a role that any of us asked for, but it came as part of the package when we started wearing the hijab and externally identified ourselves as Muslim women.
And now, I constantly ask myself – will my behaviour repulse others from Islam, or attract them towards it? The former is a scary thought. The latter, something to aspire towards.
I can only appeal to non-hijabi sisters sitting on the fence to forgive the occasional poor manners displayed by the hijabi sisters. Instead of judging them, please make du’a for them to rectify their shortcomings and be better ambassadors of our Deen. And ultimately, remember that the only relevant issue is what Allah wants of you, not how others behave.
The journey continues for all of us: whether hijabi or on the way to becoming one inshaAllah.
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What she said really reflect the condition of what a hijabi women face. Even if we don a proper hijab, it doesn't mean that we are immune to making mistakes. Making a decision to wear a hijab should be a kickstart to improve ourselves and be a better muslim.

Thursday, May 17

Wordless Wednesday

Muadz Zukhair

Hello Blog!

Erm, how do you greet an old friend. 
Hi, hello, salam, erm..silence.


It has been soo long since I last post. Truth is, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one reading my blog. So, I did not bother to update.


But, life has been such a roller coaster ride so far. The thrill, the stress, the joy, the mixed feeling, the everything, seem too much for me to keep inside. I need an outlet to let it all out. 


And here you are blog, ever ready to let me share the burden inside. I'm thankful for you. 


So, here's to yet another motivation to write more. InsyaAllah.

Tuesday, July 19

The Long Awaited Guest

Do you feel the overwhelming atmosphere in the air lately?

Like when you're waiting for a very important guest to come. The feeling of uncertainty, excitement, and nervousness wrapped around in one feeling. It can make you numb, because of feeling too much. It is an indescribable feeling that you have. Waiting patiently for that long awaited guest to arrive.

I'm feeling a bit mixed-up. I can't wait for the guest to come. But i'm not sure i'm ready for it to come. So many things things still left unfinished inside me that I feel that I will not be able to give my best to the guest.

Who's the guest if you might ask. It's the month of
Ramadhan. The most awaited month in the Islamic calendar. The month where you fast, do good deeds, purify your wealth and just be a better human being at the end of it. The month where all the things you do is rewarded by Allah in abundant.

Ramadhan means having a checklist of what to achieve. What you plan to do and in what way can you do good things as much as possible. I am currently preparing my list of what I want to do and achieve this Ramadhan. Setting up my mind to the difficult task of fighthing with my nafs and be more in control of myself.
This site provide you with the much needed push for you to do goods by breaking down in small bits what you need to do during ramadhan. I think this'll be my staple read throughout the month.

So, i'm all gearing up and readying myself for ramadhan. Hope you will to.

Monday, July 11

Getting back on track

Alhamdulillah...last weekend was wonderful. Although travelling has not been easy for me these days, going to the east coast was fun and exciting. Got to meet my in-laws, nearly got teary-eyed when meeting kak mazni and kak lisa at the wedding reception (It reminds me of how much I missed them, alhamdulillah for the meeting, it is worth all the travelling) and the quick stop at gambang to visit lil cousin hanis.

Coming back from a long-distance trip is not easy. You've got the unpacking to do, the laundry and getting back on track of your daily routine. Travelling has exhaust me to the core, I end up feeling extremely tired and lethargic after the journey. I don't know why i'm feeling this lately. All my energy has somewhat being sucked-in by an unknown void. I feel restless. Sometimes I blame it on the hormones that currently ravaging my body. Pregnancy hormones to be exact. But, at the end of the day, I don't know why i feel so tired.

So, getting back on track has somewhat been difficult. I feel like i've had procrastinate so much of my work that i feel left behind from my colleagues. Works piling up day by day, and i can't seem to finish it. I feel helpless sometimes. I miss feeling good about myself and accomplishing a lot in a day. But those days come by not so often.

What should i do?

Setting back my life-goal, and prioritizing my time would be the best headstart. Analyzing my problem and trying to figure out how to work things out will help me untangle the mess in my mind.

Do pray for me dear friends.

Friday, June 17

Pregnancy and Dreams

I've been having very wild dreams lately. It's already twice that i dream i gave birth. I'm only just entering my second trimester, giving birth is still so many months away. It's scary sometimes, and i always ended up waking feeling more tired than before. A good night sleep is scarce for me these days. What with maryam sleeping next to me and tossing and turning ever so often. I would be awake every time she moves. I think i have to sleep somewhere else after this to get a good night sleep.

Since i'm subscribing to the babycentre newsletter, i've been getting many info on how pregnancy can affect the women's dream. You can read it here. It is a relief knowing that it is normal to be having all these dreams. But, now, i'm trying to change the way i sleep so i can get a good shut-eye for a few hours.

Oh, yesterday i did a spa treatment at home. A very simple one. Just a body scrub and some oil body massage. Its effect was wonderful. After finishing all of it, i feel very-very comfortable and sleepy too. Can't help but to sleep after that. Hmm, maybe i should do it more often to get myself some sleep. Well, it depends on the time i have at hand. Luckily for me yesterday that maryam decided to sleep early so i can spend extra time for myself after making dinner.

On other note, maybe i should recite the Qur'an more before getting to bed. That way, it can make me calmer and prepare myself for sleep. InsyaAllah.